Ken Boddie

7 years ago · 3 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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Tram, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am!

Tram, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am!

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I love my regular trips to Melbourne, but, most of all, I love Melbourne's TRAMS. These unique rail guided, cable powered, people transporting, magical mystery vehicles, variously known around the world as tramcars, trolley cars, or street cars, are just plain 'trams' here in Victoria's state capital.

Old W-Class trams, brand spanking new E-Class trams, drab trams, colourful and eye-popping trams, bone rattling trams or smooth whooshing by trams. 

So many trams - and oh so many places to go in them. 

Thanks to the forefather planners of Melbourne's metropolis, the CBD (central business district) is set out in a neat grid, with each of the main streets broad, straight and relatively level, ideal for these non-polluting electric powered vehicles. 

Next time you're in Melbourne (pronounced 'mell' 'burn' and not 'boarn', for our overseas visitors) grab a free ride around the perimeter of the inner CBD on a City Circle Tram, comprising the classic heritage W-Class. 

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Or, if you're going further, download a Yarra Trams app, get yourself a Myki smart card from any local 7 Eleven store, top it up with some of your hard earned cash, and head on out to explore the many delightful features of this stately city and suburbs, such as: 

  • the many public gardens, such as Fitzroy;
  • the magnificent museums and galleries, 
  • street markets such as the famous Queen Victoria Markets and the more modern South Melbourne Markets; 
  • an abundance of coffee shops and restaurants; 
  • whole streets of direct factory outlets; 
  • tucked-away alleyways with their hidden 'oldy-worldy' specialty shops; 
  • modern splendid shopping centres, both within the CBD and housed in the outer suburbs; 
  • theatres and cinemas, featuring home grown and international touring shows; and
  • head-tilting sports venues, such as Etihad Stadium, Rod Laver Arena, and the Melbourne Cricket Ground. 

Or you can just get off at a convenient tram stop and walk along the banks of the Yarra River, drawing in your stomach as one of the four-man (or woman) skulls comes rowing by at impressive speed.

The city's tram network operator, Yarra Trams, takes great delight in boasting the following facts and figures:

  • Melbourne has the largest operating tram network in the world, with 250 kilometres of double track.
  • There are more than 1700 tram stops across the network.
  • 75% of Melbourne's tram network operates on shared roads with other vehicles.
  • There are more than 450 trams in the fleet, operating across 24 routes.
Australian trams date back to 1881, when horse drawn trams were originally introduced, eventually upgrading to the 'new-fangled' cable or steam powered systems.

"The axe began to fall upon most Australian tram networks in the 1950s and '60s as they were replaced by diesel buses. At the time the car drivers rejoiced, believing that commuting would be a lot easier with the trams out of the way. However as traffic levels increased and the roads proved unable to deal with the ever increasing number of cars, larger cities began to realise their mistake. Melbourne alone in resisting the trend, was voted the 'world's most liveable city' a few years ago. A major factor in this accolade is almost certainly the famous tram system it still runs." 

www.tramscrolls.com.au June 19, 2010

Or you can just do what I did the first time I visited Melbourne. Kick back and find yourself a 'comfy posie' with your camera of choice and watch these engineering marvels roll on by, one after the other. Then, if you're lucky enough, you might find a few moving in on a major tram stop, such as Flinders Street Station and Federation Square, or outside Myer or David Jones on Bourke Street Mall, just like homing pigeons coming in to roost. 

Here's a modern C2-Class on Bourke Street Mall. Yes, that's a bee painted on the outside near the front! 🐝
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Then you can proudly state you've seen one of the following: 
  •  a bunch of trams - if they're the classic green and yellow ones - like a bunch of bananas; or
  • a travesty of trams - from the less than charitable time-poor car drivers, delayed while passengers are embarking and disembarking on the outer routes; or
  • a tardy of trams - if you've been waiting for your ride for a while.

"There's a red one and a green one, 
And a white one and a yellow one, 
And they're all made out of ticky tacky, 
And they all look just the same ...... NOT!"with apologies to Pete Seeger and Little Boxes

How about a brightly painted trusty old Z-Class?
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Or a B-Class, oddly camouflaged in drapes, may be more your style?
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Incidentally, the title photo (next to the VB sign) was taken in St Kilda's main shopping thoroughfare, Acland Street, and features the infamous D-Class (disappointment class) introduced in 2002. The locals, depending upon their mood, despairingly refer to this notoriously badly designed people mover as either the
  • disappointment-class; or
  • despairingly-low-number-of-seats-class; or
  • discordant-high-pitched-scream-when-the-doors-open-class; or
  • don't-bother-but-wait-for-the-next-tram-and-hope-it's-not-another-D-class.
So there we have it, Melbourne, the City of Trams. 
Easy peasy! 
But just remember to use your Myki card to tap on when you board and tap off when you disembark, and .....

She'll be right, mate!

...................<<..................>>...................

7928638c.jpgWhen not researching the weird or the wonderful, the comical or the cultured, the sinful or the serious, I chase my creative side, the results of which can be seen as selected photographs of my travels on my website at:

http://ken-boddie.squarespace.com

The author of the above, Ken Boddie, besides being a sometime poet and occasional writer, is an enthusiastic photographer, rarely leisure-travelling without his Canon, and loves to interact with other like-minded people with diverse interests.

Ken's three day work week (part time commitment) as a consulting engineer allows him to follow his photography interests, and to plan trips to an ever increasing list of countries and places of scenic beauty and cultural diversity.


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Comments

Ken Boddie

6 years ago #43

#53
Great find, Jeanne! Mimi Leung - tram 3008 is my favourite. 👍

Ken Boddie

6 years ago #42

#51
Theatre curtain it us then, Jeanne. I hope this isn't heralding the final performance of Yarra Trams, but rather the start of a new act in their stage play?

Ken Boddie

6 years ago #41

#49
You raise an interesting point, Jeanne, in that many English language speakers tend to ignore the presence of the 'r'. Having been born and schooled in Scotland, where the 'r' is rolled almost to the point of emphasis, I delight in hearing it's prominence when actually pronounced by some nations. I would caution you, however, against rolling your 'rs' in public, unless you particularly wish to have the attention of us mere males drawn to that particular part of your anatomy. 🤣

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #40

#47
Brilliant idea, Dean-sensei! 💡I'm onto it. Looking forward to your next poast in funetic Inglish. 😀

Dean Owen

7 years ago #39

#43
A fair retort. Would it be fair to ask that if you Aussies want to change the pronounciation of British words, that you also change the spelling of the words so as not to confuse us! Brisbin and Melburn it is then!

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #38

#45
I'm so glad you enjoyed this post, Lada. Trams appear to have a magical attraction for many of us, not apparent in other modes of transport.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

7 years ago #37

Ken, you are a great story teller and you have the ability to make every story interesting. 👍 I live in a town without tram system but when I travel to cities with trams I always take a ride around the town. I enjoyed the pics very much. 🚋

Lada 🏡 Prkic

7 years ago #36

Ken, you are a great story teller and you have the ability to make every story interesting. 👍 I live in a town without trams but when I travel to cities with trams I always take a ride around the town. I enjoy the pics very much. 🚋

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #35

You raise what might undoubtedly in many cases be called a fair point, Dean-san. However, a couple of hundred years plus of developing a land, which Europe largely turned its back on, from the hell hole it was originally perceived to be by the early enforced settlers, to the 'lucky' land it is today (amazing that the harder we work the luckier we get) would, in my book, give those same settlers and their legitimate generations to follow, pronunciation rights on their transformed places of abode. Much though I sometimes hate the regional differences in the English language, I've come to eventually accept, by having been subjected to the processes of repetitious brainwashing and ear-bashing in a society hanging onto the remnants of Strine, that the Americans can't spell and the Poms "talk funny". As you say, Dean-san, I may have been here too long, but when in Rome ..... 🤗. As my old Scots grannie would have said: "It's a sair fecht, laddie. So here's tae us. Wha's like us? Damned few and they're a' dead."

Dean Owen

7 years ago #34

#30
Not sure I trust you here. You've been down under way too long now, and whoever heard of Aussies teaching Poms how to pronounce names of cities that were named by Poms, all be they pompous Poms. It's like an American telling me he graduated from Noter Daime !

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #33

I so agree, Lisa. Gone are the days of sharing bongs, thongs and dirty songs with the young and restless. These days I prefer to carefully choose my traveling companions. 🤣

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #32

#39
A spring chicken? lol, ok most days I still feel like one. I wouldnt mind travelling with younger people at all, during the day. But when its time for sleep, hotel with my privacy. I think many of us earn that rite of passage after raising kidd lol. I do love my privacy now. 😉😎🍷🍵

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #31

#35
There again, Lisa, you could sell up, by a back pack, and go on an indefinite working holiday? A spring chicken like you, still in the peak of health and fitness, would just love to travel with students half your age and stay in hostels where you can share one room with a multitude of life learners. 🤗
#36
many thanks Ken Boddie. Australian bees would be my priority.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #29

#34
I tend to agree with you, Michael, but don't let my friends and colleagues in Sydney know I said so.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #28

#33
If I may, I'll suggest the same thing I say to all visitors who haven't been to Oz before, Javier. Start at www.Australia.com to help you plan all the things you want to do before you get here. Australia is a large area to cover and the distances are often underestimated by overseas visitors. Also, if you want to visit the northern half's tropical region, it's generally best to plan your journey in the cooler months, typically April through September, thus avoiding the wet season and the occasional associated cyclones. And finally, give us a shout when you're coming, and we'll stick another prawn on the barbie for you. Hooroo!

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #27

#13
I have been pronouncing Melbourne wrong too, thank you Ken Boddie for the correction. I really enjoyed the photos of the many Trams!! Never a lack of transportation and wow, so many places I want to visit, including Australia. I need to win the lotto so I can begin my world tour er.. I mean journey. Tours are for stars!
I have never been to Melbourne or Australia. I love this buzz. Hopefully I will fly to Australia. Earth is so big and so small at the same time !

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #25

From groupy to Blondie to Debbie Harry to Ms Deborah Harry, I've also followed the spotlight on this SB, Praveen. But I must admit to my first reaction, when I see 'SB' in print, as being "son of a ......" 😂

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #24

#13
Yes, Dean-san, but Brisbane also shares the honours for being the most mispronounced Aussie city. It is, of course, 'Bris' 'bin' (and please don't rubbish my city) and not 'bane' (as in the bane of my life). As for a wi-fi tram network - now there's a powerful challenge. ⚡️All it needs is for some bright spark to prove he or she is a good conductor. 😂

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #23

#28
Reminds me of the old seventies joke, Praveen, which I'll now "unleash and untrammel". Suicide blonde - dyed with a bottle!

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #22

#26
Thanks for the descriptive thumbs up, Praveen. I'd hate to be 'leashed' and 'trammelled'. Love the new mug shot! 👍

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #21

#8
"Green trams at night are the tourist's delight. Red trams in the morning are the tourist's warning" ..... probably because he or she has been indulging way too much the night before? 😂

Paul Walters

7 years ago #20

#15
Ken Boddie Oh dear ...another one !!!

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #19

#9
As you undoubtedly know, Michael, the only thing not to love about Melbourne is the unpredictable weather, although, if you don't like it, just wait for an hour or two. Four seasons in one day is certainly interesting for the forecasters.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #18

#12
I've never been to Savannah, Bill, but if Wikipedia is anything to go by, the Melbourne trams would fit right into the cobble streets of this Chatham County seat.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #17

#11
The 'bunch of trams', Paul, is the only collective that appears to be in regular use. The others, I have to admit, are a 'pathology of Boddies'. 🤣 Incidentally, I had to knock back the Melbourne Tourism offer. They wanted me to work for peanuts and so I referred them to the zoological gardens.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #16

#7
Thanks for the thumbs up, Franci, and for the hoot to boot!

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #15

#6
I agree with you, Gert, but probably for a different reason, mine being they're free! 🤣 Just can't get rid of the old Scots frugality and, besides, if I opened my 'sporran' too much the moths would have to find somewhere else to live.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #14

#5
Darse un capricho, Alicia. Siga los tranvías Melbourne. 🤗

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #13

#4
Pashuk puns take pride of place in my Pandora's Box of pleasure, Kev.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #12

#3
Wouldn't we all love to have been a fly on the wall at that 'meeting', Deb? But wait ..... the "Art Trams" written on the front gives us a clue! Try this link: https://www.festival.melbourne/events/melbourne-art-trams/#.WMNNIRir2CQ

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #11

#2
"In Dublin's fair city, Where the trams are so pretty?"

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #10

#1
Which is the best city - Sydney or Melbourne? This is an age old battle, Ian, but the answer is simply Brisbane. Personally, I wouldn't break it to your rellies at all about your Melbourne intentions. You may just become ostracised and taken off the Xmas card list. 🤣

Dean Owen

7 years ago #9

So I've been pronouncing Melbourne wrong for the last 30 years.... 😔 Looks like one fine city. A bit Guildford like, judging from the pics.... Hey Ken-san, is it not possible to now build wireless trams? 🚋

Bill Stankiewicz

7 years ago #8

Great 👍 , we need this in Savannah

Paul Walters

7 years ago #7

Ken Boddie Melbourne Tourism have called!!! They wonder if you could start Monday ??? great piece. And the collectives? Did you make those up? A tardy of trams does sound a little Boddieish !!!!

Paul Walters

7 years ago #6

#4
Kevin Pashuk A pun of that magnitude at 7.am on a Saturday morning ( tramsportation indeed!! ) is right up there with Ken's collectives on the same subject.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #5

#4
Who you tramsportation could be so Blissfull. Kevin Pashuk Did you just invent a new word. Ken Boddie My favorite is the green one. Can't wait for my Melbourne trip.

Gert Scholtz

7 years ago #4

Ken Boddie I have heard about the splendor of Melbourne. The dark red City circle tram my pick in your article. Very nice one - tram, bam thank you Ken.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #3

Another great travelogue Ken... Who knew 'Trams'portation could be so interesting?

Pascal Derrien

7 years ago #2

Never been to Melbourne or Australia and loving the camouflaged tram pic :-) we had trams in Dublin a long time ago they disapeared and they got back 10 years ago or so it's called the Luas

Ian Weinberg

7 years ago #1

Thanks for that dinkum grand tour of Melbourne Ken. Need to give some time to Melbourne which seems to have been lost in the shadow of Sydney. Will have to break it gently to the family in Sydney next time that we're doing time in Melbourne.

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