Lance 馃悵 Scoular

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R U OK? 3 words for Suicide Prevention

R U OK? 3 words for Suicide PreventionRU @K?

A conversation could change a life.

   

 
 

L
The PILE gator
@LanceScoular

Today is the 14th September 2017 as I write this.

And it is RU OK? Day in Australia.

I have written about this day, on this day, back in 2014 on LinkedIn and last year, 2016, on beBee.

And the reason I am doing so again today is that yesterday I came across an article on beBee titled:

鈥淚s suicide the only way? You are worth more than what the system requires of you!鈥

by Fatima Williams

A very emotive story.

I was also aware that RU OK Day was almost upon us.

(I have purposefully NOT put the links the aforementioned articles 鈥 I will do so further down the page)


Just after midnight this morning I found myself awake and thinking of R U OK Day over the last few years and became very sad.


Why?


Because tomorrow, Friday, we are heading off to Wombeyan Caves for our annual long weekend with friends and family, which will be enjoyable.


BUT three young ones will not be there.


They took their own lives some years back. And that is sad, extremely sad.


So I got out of bed and walked a few steps to my home office and created a video.

It was OK, BUT.

It was mourning their passing.


I wanted to do something more positive, dedicated to their memory. So I scrapped that idea and searched my computer鈥檚 hard drive with 鈥淩UOK鈥 and found a number of articles, graphics and PowerPoint鈥檚.


And then I remembered I had produced a Snapchat Story last year with a PowerPoint converted to Portrait mode.

So I decided to create a YouTube video using the RU OK? PowerPoint to suggest to people how they can have a conversation that could save a life.


So here it is, with a Run Time of 5:39 min and below the video are relevant links, should you wish to check them out:

R U OK? 3 words for Suicide Prevention


LINKS:

RUOK? Day

Is suicide the only way? You are worth more than what the system requires of you!

by Fatima Williams.

Zemblanity, Suicide and My Family - R U OK? LinkedIn 2014

Zemblanity + Family and the Word We Fear To Speak beBee 2016



LanceScoular
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Comments
Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #63

#71
Thanks for the shares Cyndi wilkins. We can only try.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #62

#69
Thanks Judy Olbrych 馃嵂

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #61

#69
Thanks

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #60

#66
Much appreciated Ella. Welcone back. 馃嵂 to Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #59

Shared to beBee, LI and Twitter...Thank you for this Lance...You may have saved a life today;-)

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #58

This is priceless Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular;-)

Judy Olbrych

Judy Olbrych

4 years ago #57

The video is clear and practical. Thanks for the tag, @Lance 馃悵 Scoular. Even when caring comes naturally, knowing what to say in a difficult or emotional situation does NOT always come naturally or easily. Having basic guidelines and responses is simple but powerful. So is listening. Thank you for putting this out there. I'll be sharing.

Judy Olbrych

Judy Olbrych

4 years ago #56

The video is clear and practical. Thanks for the tag, Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular. While caring comes naturally to me, knowing what to say in a difficult or emotional situation does NOT always come naturally or easily (that's when it's easier to write and edit)! Thankfully, before one past critical conversation, I was able to call my brother, who had spent many years in ministry, for advice. The outcome was good. Having basic guidelines and responses is simple but powerful. So is listening. Thank you for putting this out there. I'll be sharing.

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #55

#66
Nice to see you on beBee again Ella de Jong!

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #54

#64
I am good and I wish I was tired since it's now 3:23 am. Thanks for asking Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Joyce 馃悵 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

#27
I am tired but fine. R U OK, Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher?

Bill Stankiewicz, 馃悵 Brand Ambassador

COOL post here. RU OK?

Proma 馃悵 Nautiyal

Proma 馃悵 Nautiyal

4 years ago #51

Thank you so much, Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular for tagging me on this buzz. I loved the video. I have been told, often, that I am way too practical for my own good and people often don't find the right audience in me when they want to discuss personal problems. They are right. The video taught me what are the right things to say and the approach to take when a distressed person is confiding in me. No amount of reading could help me understand that but your video did. The way you spoke and explained, and the graphics you used, made it all so clear. And, that little bird that flew in and took a sip from the cup of coffee was adorable. How beautifully you told us this story that could help bring a change into someone's life. Thank you. Sharing it :)

David 馃悵 Mart铆n Alonso

Three words that can change your live. Thanks for sharing Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular You are the true SAVVY NAVIGATOR

stephan metral 馃悵 Innovative Brand Ambassador

Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular , because other seemed to have missed the call of the Buzz! Come on beBee!

stephan metral 馃悵 Innovative Brand Ambassador

#55
Thanks Kevin Pashuk

Kevin Pashuk

Kevin Pashuk

4 years ago #47

Shared this great buzz on a critically important subject.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #46

#49
馃cellent buzz Savvy Raj

Jan 馃悵 Barbosa

Jan 馃悵 Barbosa

4 years ago #45

Sharing !!!

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

Lada 馃彙 Prkic

4 years ago #44

These three little words, are you ok, are often used in conversation as a phrase and not as a question with the desire to listen to someone's problems. How true, Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular. Definitely worth sharing.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #43

#47
Let's see where Serendipity takes us rather than Zemblanity.

stephan metral 馃悵 Innovative Brand Ambassador

#19
hiho Lance, the question and the answer lays in John White, MBA

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

4 years ago #41

Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular I just watched/ listened to your video. You have an excellent voice ! I liked the intonation changes ! Good simple strategies ! I did Lifeline Telephone Counselling as a volunteer. This helped me learn how to ask R U OK ? Sometimes my clients are suicidal in or out of the appointment time. If they call me after hours, I talk them through to an OK place. The I text them every 3 hours to make sure they are OK. They know they can text me too with OK UPDATES ! I make sure they know the Lifeline phone number. Even a psychologist has to sleep !

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

4 years ago #40

#41
Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular I AM OK ! Here's the list of clips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fguwbcMxV2I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09qk0lXTfi4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsnfP1AciUA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V738wu2jAqY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCilqo0mPNw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZeKIMx1V3I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDcRueQyn8E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A5Lm_zVhwc&t=53s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftVURmjdYjo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFzRTwTCmXA&t=128s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSn6h3t___w

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #39

#43
Thanks for sharing your insights Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #38

This is an awesome post and brings to the surface that we are our brothers keeper. The language you describe of open ended questions or judgement is referred to as reflective language. Although we do it subconsciously much of our feedback in RUOK settings is conclusionary and ultimately judgmental. When entering an R U Ok discussion we should reflect what we see and hear. Reframe what you sense the other person is trying to say. This lets them know you understood their last point. Opening up the door for the next. Conclusionary language places a person in a position of having to repeat themselves as they feel you don't understand. This cycle will end with a shallow frustrating outcome for the individual. Allow the individual to get to their point freely. Active listening opens up a space of safety for the individual to slowly work up the courage to tell you what is really going on. For further information, there are lots of sites that describe the active listening process. Thanks @Ali Anani for tagging me.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #37

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Louise Smith

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #36

#40
I appreciate your thoughts and wise words Lisa Vandenburg.

Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #35

This hits the spot for me! I too am so sorry for your lost friends and I get it - suicide trolls through my family; it never leaves. So, for the sake of others wanting to help, your buzz and video is monumentally important! I can say with some degree of certainty that those who have been 'introduced' to this early in life learn to 'hide' from outsiders. Hope that helps!

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

R U Ok? Excellent question by Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular he has a heart for all of us!

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

what an empowering post, thank you Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular

Gloria (Glo) Ochoa

Gloria (Glo) Ochoa

4 years ago #32

what a great video! Im sorry it is needed and Im sorry for your loss.

Ali 馃悵 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I want first to thank Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher for tagging me to this great post on LI. Truly words are energy and power. Conversations can be life savers or leading to the opposite. Over the last three days I have been engaged with great discussions with Harvey Lloyd on empathy and action. The proof is in this buzz. Thank you Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular for venturing into areas that we may not be tempted to enter. You did with a brave heart and great conversation.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #30

#31
Thanks. I noticed the Li 馃槉

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #29

#30
It's not always easy to walk in someone elses shoes, boots, sandles, thongs (flip flops) or uggs but it's worth a try. We all have different perspectives and it takes an effort to be empathetic. Good points Aleta Curry

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #28

#29
Shared on beBee, LI and Twitter!! :)

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #27

#27
Much appreciated Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #26

I was going to ask R U OK and was glad to hear you are Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular R U Ok?

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #25

#21
As are you Sara Jacobovici

Devesh 馃悵 Bhatt

Devesh 馃悵 Bhatt

4 years ago #24

#20
well people many have no choice but to be self employed here. There are many walls,people stealing ideas and money. Cheating on obligations and contracts.. exploiting to the hilt etc.. somehow these evils are acceptable and people fight with resolve... but a wrong word from those who matter weighs so much that people can't take it. I think there is plenty of Nature in your own backyard, something to discover beauty. If home looks boring, I think that travelling is affordable here. Perhaps a visit to the Himalayas (India,Nepal, Bhutan) lots of depressed people come here,contemplating suicide. But do some good and return with a purpose. Not godmen or gurus. Just some fresh air, mother nature and a whole lot of time to ponder. It is not so populated as the seaside or the cities.

David B. Grinberg

David B. Grinberg

4 years ago #23

Lance, you deserve accolades for your exemplary efforts in addressing such a critically important issue. Ditto that for per her blogging buzz. I really like your YouTube presentation in which you make very cogent arguments about why having a conservation about suicide prevention is essential in terms of proactive prevention. Bravo!

David B. Grinberg

David B. Grinberg

4 years ago #22

Lance, you deserve accolades for your exemplary efforts in addressing such a critically important issue. Ditto that for per her blogging buzz. I really like your YouTube presentation in which you make very cogent arguments about what having a conservation about suicide prevention is of utmost importance. Bravo!

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #21

All the power to you Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular. You're making a difference!

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #20

#16
Thanks for sharing those concerns in India Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt both Urban and Rural. I know we have those Rural issues in Australia too. One big problem for young entrepreneurs is the "bright shinny object" syndrome. It seems so easy to start a business, pareticularly a tech business and when they hit a wall of the market not being interested in their product, depression sets in. I know it's a problem here in Australia and I know it is happening in the USA and is a growing problem there too. Gary Vaynerchuk, fortunatel, is talking about this a lot in his keynote speeches and on his video shows.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #19

#18
Good ideas stephan metral \ud83d\udc1d Innovative Brand Ambassador Q. Is this cause worth a mytweetpack campaign? A. I believe so.

stephan metral 馃悵 Innovative Brand Ambassador

It resonates! I am very curious to see how bees will behave and react. If we all amplify this buzz, the voice of RUOK will be heard. Let's take 5 minutes x by 6 millions monthly active users, it does 30 millions minutes to speak their voice. It's the only way to conscientize the public, reach out to the media, the communities, and make the people in suffering or the collateral feeling at least recognized an not ignored, alone in the middle of everyone. Is this cause worth a mytweetpack campaign.

stephan metral 馃悵 Innovative Brand Ambassador

If you didn't exist, well we all have to create you Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular, my personal belief is that we need to be more numerous humanists with empathy. Silence, Oblivion are enemies to human survival and we'll being. RUOK is the voice, but sometimes it seem to be yelled in the middle of Antarctica..come on we are down town. Everyone is around and what no one helps, nobody cares...is that so hard to care for you own kind?

Devesh 馃悵 Bhatt

Devesh 馃悵 Bhatt

4 years ago #16

It does resonate. But another habit has to come in here in India. In Urban India: A lot of us are habituated to surrender ourselves to the mercy of opinion of a few handful. A mother or father or siibling would continuously ask "are you ok" but the person goes after the "grumpy... father mother or sibling. The environment is protective where input gives a fair output whereas society is just the opposite... unfair like everywhere else but no recourse or relief or hearing. People are told to avoid fun activities and sports etc so that the doctor wont cheat you with a wrong diagnosis and heavy bills. India has amazing natural beauty and open spaces just waiting for a few friends. In rural India.. things are not OK. People commit suicide in a state of hopelessness, bad crops, bad debts, land grabber and politician/police coercion, corruption, inability to protect women and children etc. But they do appreciate the RU OK . No matter where it comes from. Society is supposed to cleanse the Government. Here Governance is corrupting society... the disease is spreadig from Urban areas towards the hinterland. Imagine this, Monsoons were better this year, crops were better, but still suicides of farmers( a big concern) still increased....it is such a serious problem that it should be top priority,our freedom movement was to liberate the tiller of the soil. He was under "British rule" , then "Politician Rule" now "Bank/Corporate rule". You tell him R U OK and his sadness dissapears instantly. That is priceless.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular
Franci 馃悵Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Excellent video, Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular. My connection has been up and down for 2 days. Sharing while I can.

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #13

#11
Much appreciated Milos Djukic

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #12

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 David Navarro L\u00f3pez David \ud83d\udc1d Mart\u00edn Alonso Gabriel Bazzolo Stephane \ud83d\udc1d Fenner Jan \ud83d\udc1d Barbosa

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

4 years ago #11

A must video by Lance \ud83d\udc1d Scoular in this post!

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

4 years ago #10

#7
Absolutely Lance. Thanks!

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #9

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Paul \ Paul Walters Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic Laura Mikolaitis Jim \ud83d\udc1d Cody Jim Murray

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #8

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Deidr\u00e9 Wallace Ken Boddie Gert Scholtz

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #7

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Don \ud83d\udc1d Kerr Maite Barroso Del Cerro Pamela \ud83d\udc1d Williams Milos Djukic Aleta Curry

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #6

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Joan MacDougal Deborah Levine Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich Savvy Raj Kevin Pashuk

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #5

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee Barbara Henslee Noemi Barrazueta, MBA Judy Olbrych Ruth Sinkeler Tracey Sweetland Iris Chen

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #4

RU OK? If this resonates鈥 Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt Proma \ud83d\udc1d Nautiyal Tausif Mundrawala Debasish Majumder

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

Lance 馃悵 Scoular

4 years ago #1

Thanks for prompting my article Fatima with your article.

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