In Praise of the Engineer
When you ask me my favourite all time engineer,There's none, on their own, top the list, let's be clear,
So many achievers have brought such a lot,
Da Vinci, then Stephenson, Ford, Bell and Watt,
No Telford, MacAdam or IK Brunel,
Would make our roads dull and 'less civil' as well,
But times are a changing, the future's unclear,
Let's ponder it over a glass of cold beer,
If choosing we must, then there's no real contest,
It's tomorrow's practitioner will prove to be best.
- Yours truly, in one of my infrequent reflective moods.
I wrote the above poem as an entry to an Engineers Australia competition to describe the ‘best engineer’. I assume that the judges were neither poetic in mood nor philosophical in nature, as my entry neither won nor got a mention in despatches or hatches. In reality, we engineers are a weird lot of seriously work focused solemn melancholics, as the following story will illustrate:
A male engineer phoned the police to report that his wife was missing. When asked by a police officer what was the colour of her hair and eyes, her height, and what she was wearing, the engineer was quite vague and unsure in his response. When asked if she left the house in her car, however, the engineers replied, “Yes indeed. It's a black Audi A8 with a supercharged 3-litre V6 engine, generating 333 horsepower teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode and it has full LED headlights, which use light-emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.”
So what is an engineer? Well I've heard tell that we're the technocrats who fix problems that you didn’t know you had, in a way that you don’t understand. Furthermore, we're paranoid about failure and always have a built in factor of safety. When asked what 1 + 1 equals, the engineer will inevitably advise you that it is likely to be 2, but that you would be well advised to assume at least 3, just in case.
Although homo sapiens has been ‘engineering’ things since way before the pyramids were constructed, these days engineering has become too complex for any one individual to master, and so we have a variety of engineering specialists, including the following:
- Aerospace Engineers - design vehicles that fly or hover. Success can be difficult with this speciality and many companies just don't take off.
- Biomedical Engineers - are the producers of all manor of medical equipment. You can rely on them being educated, dedicated, caffeinated, and vaccinated.
- Chemical Engineers - use products like drugs and medicines or fertilisers for crops. They can be surprisingly negative. When asked for the chemical symbols for sodium, bromiun and oxygen, they're likely to respond with, “Na, BrO!”
- Civil Engineers - work on roads, bridges, buildings and other public (traditionally non military) structures. Being one myself, I know how often we're accused by medics as having designed and built the human body on an ‘off day’. I mean, who builds a toxic sewage pipeline through a recreational area?
- Computer Engineers - design and build computers and their inner parts. These engineers do not tolerate competition well. They've been responsible for a lot of cyber boolean.
- Electrical and Electronic Engineers - work with all manner of shocking equipment. They tend to happily over-charge and can become quite ex-static when doing so.
- Environmental Engineers - design and implement solutions to remediate and restore the environment. They love renewable energy sources and, when it comes to wind generation, they can be big fans.
- Manufacturing Engineers - improve the efficiency of machines and assembly or production lines. Such work can be mentally demanding and may require proper orientation. Take the ‘M&M’ production line as an example. They had to fire countless disoriented workers who were throwing away the ‘W’s.
- Mechanical Engineers - design machines or things that move, like cars and trains. These engineers have found, with experience, that there is more money to be made in complexity than simplicity. They tend to live by the maxim, “If it ain't broke, consider adding more features.”
- Nuclear Engineers - design and build nuclear plants. It's a little known ‘fact’ that these engineers often have aquariums at work. They need somewhere to store their nuclear fission.
- Structural Engineers - deal with the analysis and design of buildings and structures. Quite recently, however, a research programme conducted in England found that a high proportion of the structures built in the 17th and early 18th centuries were seriously flawed, but they quickly concluded that, “If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.”
- Software Engineers - design and write programs for computers. As these engineers say, “Give a man a software program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.”
I'll leave you with a final thought. Not only are engineers often a serious and even melancholic lot, but we invariably tend to be rather introverted. Every so often, however, the odd extroverted engineer will come along. You can easily tell them at a party. They're the ones who stare at your shoes instead of their own.
...................<<..................>>...................
When not researching the weird or the wonderful, the comical or the cultured, the sinful or the serious, I chase my creative side, the results of which can be seen as selected photographs of my travels on my website at:
http://ken-boddie.squarespace.com">http://ken-boddie.squarespace.com
The author of the above, Ken Boddie, besides being a sometime poet and occasional writer, is an enthusiastic photographer, rarely leisure-travelling without his Canon, and loves to interact with other like-minded people with diverse interests.
Ken's three day work week (part time commitment) as a consulting engineer allows him to follow his photography interests, and to plan trips to an ever increasing list of countries and places of scenic beauty and cultural diversity.
in If you must talk work! and in 1 more group
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Comments
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #48
Thanks, @Javier 🐝 CR , for reminding me that my CV on the DP website is four years out of date. 😂🤣😂
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #47
👏👏👏👏👏 https://www.douglaspartners.com.au/about-us/people/ken-boddie
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #46
https://us.bebee.com/producer/in-praise-of-the-data-vGGEMhXmATTv
by @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #45
@Ken Boddie thanks for your message
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #44
In case there may still be some doubt,
I’ve decided I must shout it out,
So here is my appreciation,
For the great new posts notification.
🤗🤗🤗
Thanks, @Javier 🐝 CR et al.
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #43
@Ken Boddie => https://us.bebee.com/producer/engineer-vs-scientist-what-is-rTtuEdFPFCyg
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #42
it is coming 100% sure !!! CC @Alberto Landeras @Leticia Gómez López @Mirian 🐝 Pozo @Luis David de la Fuente
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #41
Me neither! I tried to make it as clear as I could that the article came out, but the notification system is beyond my control :-)
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #40
Can’t wait for @Javier 🐝 CR and his IT team to eventually come good with the long promised new post notification, @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris 🙏🏼
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #39
Were you born in Scotland, @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee ??? 🏴💰😂🤣😂
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #38
Just published an article on this topic, inspired by this one (as well as the conversation that it brought up). Check it out when you have a moment…
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #37
#37
“Bit hard working out exponential functions and geometric functions (sin, cos, tan, etc) on an abacus, mind you … and it has no memory, graphics display, pi or infinity. ”
Heh--makes me think of how "no calculators" would certainly cut out the chaf. We have imaginary fields where people only ‘imagine’ they know things--like computational/mathmatical biology. The damage that field has done can't be measured.
Anyway--I donate nothing these days. If they charged a fee to look at it, I'd want my cut.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #36
LOL! That's actually a very good point you make, @Ken Boddie. Perhaps it's not so much the tool one uses but how well he knows it. As for the thinking part your discussion partner mentioned, I supposed people back then thought more, but probably on a lower level (not that there's anything wrong with that) and probably because they had no other option. Nowadays, most engineers still think, but focus their thinking on more high-level matters, letting the computers do all the low-level work. I'm not sure what era was better when it came to thinking; I need to think about it… :-)
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #35
Your old HP calculator must be worth something by now, @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee If not, have you considered donating it to a museum? 😂
Bit hard working out exponential functions and geometric functions (sin, cos, tan, etc) on an abacus, mind you … and it has no memory, graphics display, pi or infinity.
When I was last in Indonesia, I saw an abacus being used in a small Chinese family store, at check-out. Talk about the hand being quicker than the eye … and the calculator on my phone. 🧮 😂🤣😂
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #34
Anytime, @Ken Boddie and funny you should mention the slide rule. I started just when calculators were allowed. I still have my old HP 15c. I refused to graduate to anything else. I'd love to see us go back to the abacus. Those were the days when people were actually required to think. It seriously might be good to try that again.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #33
Thank you for your suggestions for your ‘best’ or ‘favourite’ engineer, @Lada 🏡 Prkic, @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris and @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee . Personally, I find it hard to compare engineers from different eras, as they had completely different levels of awareness of the concepts, theories or ultimately proven formulae, concepts and background, within the fields of mechanics, dynamics, mathematics, chemistry and physics, which modern day engineers now take completely for granted. The tools that these ancient and subsequently even Baroque-age engineering giants had for measurement (prior to standardised imperial or metric units of measurement), and for analysis, also greatly varied across the historical eras of engineering. Even within my own life (a mere dot on the evolution of engineering) I remember not being allowed to use ‘new fangled' electronic calculators in my final school year exams, and having had to wrestle with a ‘slide rule’ and log tables, even at uni. We students used to think that the most useful nerd tool, back then, was a slide rule with a bottle opener on one end. When trying to perform slope stability analysis at uni, I had to manually write out my Fortran program and data entry on reams of coded cards (everything was fixed format back then) prior to passing them in a bunch, wrapped in an elastic band, to the department secretaries for punching and then entry into the room-sized department computer. I then had to wait a day or so for the results of each run. This process often had to be repeated several times, due to errors in my formatting of the data entry cards, until a ’run' was eventually successfully achieved. It could then take several weeks before a confident solution to the stability problem could be achieved, without the two dimensional (never mind three dimensional) graphics displays we all now take for granted. And we thought that this ‘speed’ was magnificent. How about the ancient mathematicians and engineers who only had one of these doowackies to perform their analysis?
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #32
Have to agree with Lada. Nikola Tesla was amazing. I hope he knows what a mark he made wherever he is now. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_Tesla_Museum
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #31
I'd go with da Vinci though I have great reverence for all of the ones you've mentioned. I started reading one of Fuller's books (Synergetics) but couldn't finish it. It's just too advanced for me. It really shows that this guy was much more than an inventor as he's usually portrayed. Cheers!
Lada 🏡 Prkic
2 years ago #30
Let's go back to the topic! If I have to choose my favourite engineers, I would say Archimedes and Tesla. :) I would also say Buckminster Fuller, although he was not an engineer by education. He was one of the greatest minds of our times. He didn't limit himself to one field but worked across multiple fields, including engineering and architecture.
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #29
So I was looking further into this name and found this. Now you made me curious, Zach. At the time I was a bit itchy because my profile was being viewed by Max Planck Institute and cell-line people. I tended to block them right away.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #28
Man, I love beBee! Not only do you get to block people whose command of English grammar is as bad as their communication style, but you get to talk about it to everyone else. Cheers!
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #27
oooo sorry ‘its’ poke poke, Zach
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #26
At least I know how to use English grammar properly, and even if it's not my first language, I respect its rules…
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #25
hahahaha I would argue that is you who is naive. Microsoft operates it's fake profiles through huge banks of cell phones.
I have folders upon folders of saved profiles. One That comes to mind is Pip Barton of High Beam Global. Either MS just changes names and pictures or they don't. Looks like the same guy, but who knows if he has anything to do with what he says he does.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #24
Some would argue that LI was mucked up even before to sold out to the highest bidder. Where do you think these boys came from? I hope you're not so naive as to think that MS put them there. At best their effect would be more of a noise-generating nature than anything with a positive effect on the bottom line. Love it or hate it, Microsoft is a company of engineers so it doesn't care about bots and such (other than its own on Twitter, for PR reasons). LI mucked itself up to raise its own valuation. Cheers
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #23
Correction: I wasn't born in the Netherlands. I seriously would not worry about LinkedIn. It was purchased by Microsoft in 2016 and it's now mostly Bot accounts.
I think it was in November of 2016 because I remember delightfully romping through the nuances of LinkedIn's platform, then in came Microsoft and watered it all down. I was profoundly pissed.
I had really avoided much about internet interactions up until October of 2016. When it came to LinkedIn, that platform was my virgin adventure. I loved that platform until Microsoft came in and mucked it up.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #22
That explains a lot! I don't have anything against the Dutch by the way…
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #21
I didn't. But I'm now finding nothing is [or ever was] what it seems. These guys had a great course on operational amplifiers at the time.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #20
Well, for anyone interested in checking out my latest article (non-technical, I promise!) you can find it here: https://us.bebee.com/producer/the-kid-that-used-to-30YfJI1iY9oY I'm so sorry to hear about Ali. Perhaps he'll change his mind one day…
Lada 🏡 Prkic
2 years ago #19
Zac, I expressed the same concern several times. Even after two months, the notification system, which BTW distinguished beBee from other social media, isn't fully functioned. I still don't understand why we aren't notified when someone we follow has published a new post. It is essential, especially if we don't visit beBee every day.
As for Ali Anani, I'm not sure he'll come back to beBee. He is active 24/7 on LinkedIn, where he has a huge following. Many people who follow him on beBee migrated to LinkedIn also and are not active here.
beBee, as it is now, is a “playground” for a few of us who are still active and trying to generate some traffic. As you said, we can only hope things go better one day. Hope dies last. 😊
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #18
That's a good point, Lada! I expressed the same concern to Javier a few days ago. It seems that if you publish something and you don't share it with all your followers, it's a ghost. Unless someone deliberately goes out looking for it (e.g., via a link), they'll never become aware of it. I'm not sure what the point of this is, but it's part of the new platform. I agree that the old beBee had more engagement, though this may be due to more bees being active back then (e.g., Ali Anani). Hopefully, the new beBee will be as popular one day. Cheers
Lada 🏡 Prkic
2 years ago #17
Ken, the notification system is not yet fully functioned. We still don't receive notifications when someone we follow published a new post. Also, there's a new type of notification that SOME people have commented on or liked my post. So I need to check my post to find out who are those people. But given the number of people commenting or liking, it’s not a problem to check. :) There was a lot more engagement on the old beBee, as far as my posts were concerned.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #16
I didn’t realise you were born in the Netherlands, @Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee , as it’s all Double Dutch to me. 😂
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
2 years ago #15
I worked on the microscopic level in the beginning days of high tech. The first picture is a device for which I was responsible, the second a basic op amp configuration, and the third an illustration of slew rate. My product line was slew rate amplification. The Polaroid was of a device with blown inputs. It was a common problem in that product line.
I had an idea as to what may fix it, but never had the chance to try it. I dropped work to care for my oldest boy.
The problem irks me to this day even though the part must be completely obsolete.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #14
No worries. No news is good news, plus I can imagine you have other things going on 🙂
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #13
Sorry, @Lada 🏡 Prkic and @Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris that I didn’t respond to your #13 and #14 below. It appears that I have stopped receiving notifications. You may wish to check your posts in case the ‘no notifications’ problem is more widespread. Javier is looking into it.
Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris
2 years ago #12
Literally LOLed on this one! If I may, I'd like to add a novel type of engineer who appears quite prevalent in my line of work: the data engineer. No one is certain what exactly he does. Some believe his head is in the cloud (often the Amazon one but other clouds too). He may speak many languages, often fluently, but you probably don't know any of them. But if you really need to communicate with him, you need to talk data to him. As for his data tastes, he likes it dirty since he's adept at cleaning it and preparing it for the other data professionals (data scientists and such softies). Cheers
Lada 🏡 Prkic
2 years ago #11
Thanks, Ken. Child logic is amazing. 😀 I found the same post on WordPress. Here is a comic from it.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #10
the only thing I can say, @Neil Smith is
“You take the high road and … ”
🎤🎶
Neil Smith
2 years ago #9
Completely agree with @Lada 🏡 Prkic . I drove across this viaduct once. I took a very long detour in order to do so and it was worth every single extra kilometre.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #8
I’ve only read a little about the Millau Viaduct, Lada, but have not been there. I thought you might have a laugh at this non-engineering description I came across when Googling:
“The piers are important because they help keep the bridge standing. Without them, the bridge would not be a bridge. Putting the bridge on the ground would not be possible because the Tarn river is on the ground and you can’t build a road on a river. The cables are important because they make the piers not fall over and kill people on the bridge.”
What the … ??? 😂🤣😂
Lada 🏡 Prkic
2 years ago #7
Ken, I always thought I was an introverted engineer. Now I know I was wrong because I always stare at other people's shoes instead of my own. 😉 Thank you for laughing. BTW, you have chosen a magnificent structure for the title image. The Millau Viaduct is one of the most amazing engineering feats.
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #6
🍫👍
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #5
I guess, @Neil Smith , I’d rather be engineering pop tarts than engineering pop charts. 😂🤣😂
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #4
Unfortunately, @Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador , we now live in a very litigious world, where the cost of professional indemnity insurance can be quite inhibitive, resulting in many small consulting firms going out of business. BTW, as a former insurance company employee, I guess that you prefer ‘premium’ chocolate? 😂🤣😂
Ken Boddie
2 years ago #3
Certainly, @Javier 🐝 CR , an engineering degree produces ceeative thinkers, problem solvers, communicators and team players, Hence, it's not surprising that engineers are some of the most sought after people for a diverse range of jobs. All kinds of businesses, not just engineering ones, recognise engineers as people that are good at solving problems. That's a great person to have in any team, in any industry.
Neil Smith
2 years ago #2
👋👋 I for one would have been far more impressed with your poem as opposed to yet another report on who gets to be the top of the engineering pops this week. Thanks for the entertaining story.
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
2 years ago #1
i am a computer engineer and i did a master's degree in software engineering at the university of deusto in bilbao. i believe that everyone should have a basic knowledge of programming, it helps to have a very simple logic and to structure ideas. programming has a creative side that people don't know and assume that programming is like putting bricks on top of each other. i haven't been programming for a long time and i don't think my talent is there, but i recognise that having a deep knowledge of software engineering has helped me to implement good business ideas on the internet. In the end the internet is a tremendously technological medium and if you don't have basic knowledge it's like not knowing how to read and write.